Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · Jun · Jul · Aug · Sep · Oct · Nov · Dec

2024 in Haiku

January

1 - internet bandwidth / taken up by kid chatting / my game lags again

2 - office worker falls / paper towels absorb blood / pull up carpet squares

3 - tetrominoes fall / teen hero completes a line / kill screen victory

4 - dinner with colleagues / kid interrupts with questions / i'd say that's a wrap

5 - fourth year of the plague / why must it pile on my friend? / hope she gets well soon

6 - lazy saturday / smallest bit of snow on ground / i just watch youtube

7 - chicken, beef, and pork / they all belong in my cart / yes, we have the meats

8 - random sentences / generated by magic / after work coding

9 - a blue shell appears / mario kart bracket bust / team building event

10 - school nurse calls me up / kiddo is worried re: tooth / but it's after school

11 - both kiddo and i / look up her spelling bee words / what does sphagnum mean?

12 - the weekend is here / i would do all of the things / there's no internet

13 - to buy some cold ones / trogdor needs no fake ID / man, tempus fugit

14 - internet returned / but brutal cold still remains / with car error light

15 - youtube background noise / i lay here doing nothing / watching files copy

16 - snow roads hiding ice / golf cart attempted to fly / penguin raised one foot

17 - state legislature / they make my life difficult / state of misery

18 - reorgs, pronouns, teeth, / loved ones in the hospital... / can we catch our breath?

19 - the stinging cold air / cuts like a knife through my clothes / goodbye internet

20 - don't fill the rat hole / sometimes the best heart warming / is found in void form

21 - another year gone / without a passing result / jlpt fail

22 - i fell on my ass / phone flew out of my pocket / apples don't ice skate

23 - ribcage is rattled / my stomach isn't that great / can i stay in bed?

24 - work's very stressful / i would clench and grind my teeth / alas! loose filling...

25 - godzilla again / though in gorgeous black and white / kiddo's snack crinkles

26 - play games with kid's friend / who is funny? who's got eye? / meme forced laughter now

27 - i'm not too sexy / for these height-adjusted pants / you know what I mean?

28 - diet ski not great / so i'll continue drinking / sucralose kool-aid

29 - i worked extra hard / building dashboard sketches — / more study time please

30 - one filling i thought / a dental surprise instead / double the pleasure

31 - tiny red monster / buried in people's nightmares... / mighty atlas hugged

February

1 - jerked awake at four / heartburn from late-night soda / so very tired

2 - a rare occurrence / kiddo running a fever / toilet paper pile

3 - 🎵 animaniacs! 🎵 / 🎵 got a fever in our brat... 🎵 / and so i stayed home

4 - trader joe's packed full / shop in a circle of hell / abandon all hope

5 - sleepiness smothers / and my day is filled with work / i just want to read

6 - the morning sun shines / into my commuting face / brave Zatoichi

7 - i wake up tired / mental overexertion / from dreams in HD

8 - tortured all day long / by the wafting scents of food — / damn my allergy

9 - corporate greed's far / worse than faulty acme wares — / save our coyote!

10 - i am home alone / ramen tv and taxes / like a real adult

11 - spy novel come true / as cat and writer jet set / crisscrossed movie plot

12 - the super bowl ads / and not active genocide / fuel workplace chatter

13 - lunch break study time / work has beefed up firewall / can't access flashcards

14 - sixty years gone by / four flavors became many / pop tart man has died

15 - die spurenfinder / solved the murder and then some / now find a sequel

16 - giant fluffs of cotton / fall down from the wintry sky / a proper haiku

17 - you know it gives me / gender euphoria to / pee in the shower

18 - the wheel of fortune / raises up and throws down all / who pursue romance

19 - classical music / as the crowds come to inspect / flower genitals

20 - duolingo owl / now teaches kiddo german / insults me auf deutsch

21 - our manmade geyser / tallest in the usa / reached a manmade end

22 - the office crowd talk / face-to-face, phone put away — / they've got no service

23 - watch clouds float in blue / through the office window's grime / sky doesn't feel real

24 - writing tomorrow / the haiku meant for today / fell asleep early

25 - grocery shopping / like reverse vampire early / to avoid starbursts

26 - my mind's eye is dark / but your voice is recorded / lossless stereo

27 - watch hamburger stocks / everchanging price per fry / capitalist hell

28 - a burst of summer / followed by cold winter wind — / which month is it now?

29 - school presentation / on ancient chinese culture / long like the great wall

March

1 - guitar history played / on six distinct instruments / masterful technique

2 - shopping to prepare / for kiddo's camping trip but / not for age and growth

3 - opera masters / imagination filled with / barber bugs bunny

4 - camp prep is thrown off / by half dose sleep gummies flub / preteen pill popper

5 - kiddo is not here / i keep noticing quiet / nice yet uncanny

6 - kiddo called upset / phone use instruction lacking / can i come home now?

7 - mountain bird passed on / video games and manga / are perched on that hill

8 - this eye dilation / makes it hard to pick out frames / i chose a grey blur

9 - post office passport / with awkward gender questions / privacy lacking

10 - in my dream tom scott / crouched forlorn on rocky beach / pulled off a grey wig

11 - no internet means / delayed view of cena buff / take off envelope?

12 - work, home, and cook food / veg out during dinner show / practice and repeat

13 - harry potter terf / loudly denies history / britain moves backwards

14 - st louis city / bombards us with texts and calls / tornado warning

15 - read on new device / then looked back at my phone / so miniature

16 - together we hike / through forest and modern art / masculine bonding

17 - keyboards of all shapes / like typewriters or wafers / but all expensive

18 - audio issues / nervous adults plucking strings / guitar recital

19 - stress piles on more stress / the simplest things become hard / in power bi

20 - behind in all things / kanji sleep and reading too / as well as haiku

21 - brain dead after work / brain dead watching kiddo's show / i am now zombie

22 - work done yesterday / planning for week of planning / is all that is left

23 - the blue roses wilt / as the apothecary / dances fond farewell

24 - resisting the urge / to get my old squeezebox out / youtube draws me in

25 - spacing out meetings / sitting with a voided mind / quarterly planning

26 - antihistamines / are pro-anxiety and sleep / too scared to learn golf

27 - guess-the-word gametime / the card names a certain grain / 僕の名は？

28 - multitasking stress / countered by strolls, grape soda, / and board games with friends

29 - i have glasses now / the long starbursts remain seen / but sharper image

30 - cute baby bunnies / and a little snake on view / before the egg hunt

31 - long drive back to home / we stop for food on the way / thanks easter shutdown

April

1 - new sheets, tornados / long hours on april fools / anniversary

2 - [A Power BI placeholder column:] what is my purpose / feel like i just take up space / users don't see me

3 - glasses press on ears / would take them off for respite / but then eyes angry

4 - elevator songs / pastel nothingness plateau / that was the worst show

5 - not on vacation / double that since others are / can i get paid more?

6 - no kid! just us! so... / we stood and waited and stood / waiting even more

7 - plant imposition / has set me in a foul mood / forced obligation

8 - to chester we drove / to witness totality / by wimpy's burger

9 - time with my sibling / eating pho and watching show / but now i lack sleep

10 - tried out nice guitar / clerk kept pushing cheaper ones / do i sound that bad?

11 - red faced irish man / remains in form eating wings / heated comedy

12 - writing this haiku / shameful procrastination / it's two days too late

13 - first time in a while / where there is nothing scheduled / vegetation state

14 - reading old folktales / while lounging about in bed / good relaxation

15 - the sun destroys me / sapping all my energy / anti-superman

16 - twas ChatGPT / that wrote the convoluted code / now human debug

17 - seasons change in hours / kiddo's airways can't keep up / fever and tissues

18 - no sleep for kiddo / means no sleep for us either / kid stays home; i don't

19 - let's end the work week / and finish third grade kanji / and go out to eat

20 - hometown aerovons / on hometown record label / finally released

21 - my turn with sore throat / it was hot and now it's not / add extra blanket

22 - walking to the store / talking to kid about friends / and set boundaries

23 - late night with the job / slow restaurant service / and then a movie

24 - ah you maniacs / you banned it! god damn you all / there goes the youth vote

25 - ways of working changed / without communication / means frustrating week

26 - kiddo all dressed up / last school dance before new school / overstimulate

27 - car coolant problem / derails weekend plan of fun / and adds to my stress