Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · Jun · Jul · Aug · Sep · Oct · Nov · Dec
2024 in Haiku
January
1 - internet bandwidth / taken up by kid chatting / my game lags again
2 - office worker falls / paper towels absorb blood / pull up carpet squares
3 - tetrominoes fall / teen hero completes a line / kill screen victory
4 - dinner with colleagues / kid interrupts with questions / i'd say that's a wrap
5 - fourth year of the plague / why must it pile on my friend? / hope she gets well soon
6 - lazy saturday / smallest bit of snow on ground / i just watch youtube
7 - chicken, beef, and pork / they all belong in my cart / yes, we have the meats
8 - random sentences / generated by magic / after work coding
9 - a blue shell appears / mario kart bracket bust / team building event
10 - school nurse calls me up / kiddo is worried re: tooth / but it's after school
11 - both kiddo and i / look up her spelling bee words / what does sphagnum mean?
12 - the weekend is here / i would do all of the things / there's no internet
13 - to buy some cold ones / trogdor needs no fake ID / man, tempus fugit
14 - internet returned / but brutal cold still remains / with car error light
15 - youtube background noise / i lay here doing nothing / watching files copy
16 - snow roads hiding ice / golf cart attempted to fly / penguin raised one foot
17 - state legislature / they make my life difficult / state of misery
18 - reorgs, pronouns, teeth, / loved ones in the hospital... / can we catch our breath?
19 - the stinging cold air / cuts like a knife through my clothes / goodbye internet
20 - don't fill the rat hole / sometimes the best heart warming / is found in void form
21 - another year gone / without a passing result / jlpt fail
22 - i fell on my ass / phone flew out of my pocket / apples don't ice skate
23 - ribcage is rattled / my stomach isn't that great / can i stay in bed?
24 - work's very stressful / i would clench and grind my teeth / alas! loose filling...
25 - godzilla again / though in gorgeous black and white / kiddo's snack crinkles
26 - play games with kid's friend / who is funny? who's got eye? / meme forced laughter now
27 - i'm not too sexy / for these height-adjusted pants / you know what I mean?
28 - diet ski not great / so i'll continue drinking / sucralose kool-aid
29 - i worked extra hard / building dashboard sketches — / more study time please
30 - one filling i thought / a dental surprise instead / double the pleasure
31 - tiny red monster / buried in people's nightmares... / mighty atlas hugged
February
1 - jerked awake at four / heartburn from late-night soda / so very tired
2 - a rare occurrence / kiddo running a fever / toilet paper pile
3 - 🎵 animaniacs! 🎵 / 🎵 got a fever in our brat... 🎵 / and so i stayed home
4 - trader joe's packed full / shop in a circle of hell / abandon all hope
5 - sleepiness smothers / and my day is filled with work / i just want to read
6 - the morning sun shines / into my commuting face / brave Zatoichi
7 - i wake up tired / mental overexertion / from dreams in HD
8 - tortured all day long / by the wafting scents of food — / damn my allergy
9 - corporate greed's far / worse than faulty acme wares — / save our coyote!
10 - i am home alone / ramen tv and taxes / like a real adult
11 - spy novel come true / as cat and writer jet set / crisscrossed movie plot
12 - the super bowl ads / and not active genocide / fuel workplace chatter
13 - lunch break study time / work has beefed up firewall / can't access flashcards
14 - sixty years gone by / four flavors became many / pop tart man has died
15 - die spurenfinder / solved the murder and then some / now find a sequel
16 - giant fluffs of cotton / fall down from the wintry sky / a proper haiku
17 - you know it gives me / gender euphoria to / pee in the shower
18 - the wheel of fortune / raises up and throws down all / who pursue romance
19 - classical music / as the crowds come to inspect / flower genitals
20 - duolingo owl / now teaches kiddo german / insults me auf deutsch
21 - our manmade geyser / tallest in the usa / reached a manmade end
22 - the office crowd talk / face-to-face, phone put away — / they've got no service
23 - watch clouds float in blue / through the office window's grime / sky doesn't feel real
24 - writing tomorrow / the haiku meant for today / fell asleep early
25 - grocery shopping / like reverse vampire early / to avoid starbursts
26 - my mind's eye is dark / but your voice is recorded / lossless stereo
27 - watch hamburger stocks / everchanging price per fry / capitalist hell
28 - a burst of summer / followed by cold winter wind — / which month is it now?
29 - school presentation / on ancient chinese culture / long like the great wall
March
1 - guitar history played / on six distinct instruments / masterful technique
2 - shopping to prepare / for kiddo's camping trip but / not for age and growth
3 - opera masters / imagination filled with / barber bugs bunny
4 - camp prep is thrown off / by half dose sleep gummies flub / preteen pill popper
5 - kiddo is not here / i keep noticing quiet / nice yet uncanny
6 - kiddo called upset / phone use instruction lacking / can i come home now?
7 - mountain bird passed on / video games and manga / are perched on that hill
8 - this eye dilation / makes it hard to pick out frames / i chose a grey blur
9 - post office passport / with awkward gender questions / privacy lacking
10 - in my dream tom scott / crouched forlorn on rocky beach / pulled off a grey wig
11 - no internet means / delayed view of cena buff / take off envelope?
12 - work, home, and cook food / veg out during dinner show / practice and repeat
13 - harry potter terf / loudly denies history / britain moves backwards
14 - st louis city / bombards us with texts and calls / tornado warning
15 - read on new device / then looked back at my phone / so miniature
16 - together we hike / through forest and modern art / masculine bonding
17 - keyboards of all shapes / like typewriters or wafers / but all expensive
18 - audio issues / nervous adults plucking strings / guitar recital
19 - stress piles on more stress / the simplest things become hard / in power bi
20 - behind in all things / kanji sleep and reading too / as well as haiku
21 - brain dead after work / brain dead watching kiddo's show / i am now zombie
22 - work done yesterday / planning for week of planning / is all that is left
23 - the blue roses wilt / as the apothecary / dances fond farewell
24 - resisting the urge / to get my old squeezebox out / youtube draws me in
25 - spacing out meetings / sitting with a voided mind / quarterly planning
26 - antihistamines / are pro-anxiety and sleep / too scared to learn golf
27 - guess-the-word gametime / the card names a certain grain / 僕の名は?
28 - multitasking stress / countered by strolls, grape soda, / and board games with friends
29 - i have glasses now / the long starbursts remain seen / but sharper image
30 - cute baby bunnies / and a little snake on view / before the egg hunt
31 - long drive back to home / we stop for food on the way / thanks easter shutdown
April
1 - new sheets, tornados / long hours on april fools / anniversary
2 - [A Power BI placeholder column:] what is my purpose / feel like i just take up space / users don't see me
3 - glasses press on ears / would take them off for respite / but then eyes angry
4 - elevator songs / pastel nothingness plateau / that was the worst show
5 - not on vacation / double that since others are / can i get paid more?
6 - no kid! just us! so... / we stood and waited and stood / waiting even more
7 - plant imposition / has set me in a foul mood / forced obligation
8 - to chester we drove / to witness totality / by wimpy's burger
9 - time with my sibling / eating pho and watching show / but now i lack sleep
10 - tried out nice guitar / clerk kept pushing cheaper ones / do i sound that bad?
11 - red faced irish man / remains in form eating wings / heated comedy
12 - writing this haiku / shameful procrastination / it's two days too late
13 - first time in a while / where there is nothing scheduled / vegetation state
14 - reading old folktales / while lounging about in bed / good relaxation
15 - the sun destroys me / sapping all my energy / anti-superman
16 - twas ChatGPT / that wrote the convoluted code / now human debug
17 - seasons change in hours / kiddo's airways can't keep up / fever and tissues
18 - no sleep for kiddo / means no sleep for us either / kid stays home; i don't
19 - let's end the work week / and finish third grade kanji / and go out to eat
20 - hometown aerovons / on hometown record label / finally released
21 - my turn with sore throat / it was hot and now it's not / add extra blanket
22 - walking to the store / talking to kid about friends / and set boundaries
23 - late night with the job / slow restaurant service / and then a movie
24 - ah you maniacs / you banned it! god damn you all / there goes the youth vote
25 - ways of working changed / without communication / means frustrating week
26 - kiddo all dressed up / last school dance before new school / overstimulate
27 - car coolant problem / derails weekend plan of fun / and adds to my stress
28 - intermittent rain / waxes like anxiety / coming and going
29 - the car is too broke / we have to buy a new one / my stomach feels sick
30 - somehow my sweet child / lost clothes and shoes while at school / stuck in a costume
May
1 - silent heart troubles / form loud ripples of worry / mothers are fragile
2 - too loud and too quiet / i can't see or hear the play / here in the school gym
3 - listening to live / final fantasy music / ignorant of course
4 - angry ribs flare up / while viewing strange irises / with still stranger names
5 - finally six flags / i sit and read some peanuts / while they ride again
6 - parents seem like gods / when one is small in the world / adult us worry
7 - mailing lien request / begging for release with a / disney villain stamp
8 - life like truman show / see us go to DMV / closed — it's truman day
9 - large gathering pain / want to sneak away quickly / i can't hear me think
10 - the world seems to see / what our city lights drown out / aurora missing
11 - hear the violins / as our symphony supports / bugs bunny in drag
12 - europe's champion / nemo's heart beats like a drum / my ears beat with worms
13 - new car all legal / registration is complete / wallet still crying
14 - cough go home they said / cough so home I go sniffle / to nap off the cough
15 - all day on one task / finally solved the issue / now there's more problems
16 - americana / listen to guitar and voice / at Grant's White Haven
17 - invasion of flies / buzzing driving us crazy / family unite!
18 - i might not draw well / but the glide of a pen nib / is very calming
19 - told kiddo to clean / peeked in after hearing bangs / there is now more mess
20 - Germany trip booked / a long flight in a few months / and a long one back
21 - watched hula dances / ate pho and listened to kid's / piano concert
22 - the face my kid makes / during school graduation: / old disapproval
23 - sleep fails me again / a tiny visitor chews / paper in the night
24 - metamorphosis / cut down due to its sex change / the poor gingko tree
25 - confused dishwasher / lets water in all the time / water valve is stuck
26 - our mail doesn't come / mark it as missing online / what important ghosts
27 - kiddo went thrifting / picks out oversized items / size letters foreign
28 - the plumbing rework / finished with a makeover / dishwasher now off
29 - old car lien release / arrived in the mail today / one headache over
30 - a new leaky valve / this old house stresses me out / with its drip drip drip
31 - good mythical tour / means shirtless josh and gross food / as kid covers ears
June
1 - aloha golf ball / as we putt you in the hole / true family fun
2 - i lounge in my bed / gathering spyro trophies / and reading peanuts
3 - another valve down / plumbing victories increase / a lot more to go
4 - bad heartburn attack / makes me imagine the worst / i should eat slower
5 - list of books read grows / thanks to comics, e-reader, / and my dear glasses
6 - a work team outing / though cardinals lost the game / was still a good time
7 - the weirdness at work / with identity persists / but i got a raise
8 - failed quest for my mom / at our city's lego store / supplier issues
9 - watched online film fest / movie with kids making film / in the seventies
10 - which kanji system / to study most effective / unending question
11 - birthday movie time / we watch flash gordon (ah ah!) / at the alamo
12 - ate ben & jerry's / non-dairy mint chocolate / cookie frozen treat
13 - updating name at work / because microsoft forgot / that i did before
14 - it is far too hot / i melt and burn walking home / human crème brûlée
15 - hunt for a backpack / for kid's travel ends in luck / bargain acquired
16 - pride flags on wall but / transphobic ticket checker / confusing amtrak
17 - we see dinosaurs / and the depths of the ocean / in Field Museum
18 - alarm almost pulled / kiddo seeks bathroom exit / in dark theater
19 - return amtrak train / passed burning downtown building / springfield's post-noon heat
20 - the bathroom status / at work is now truly shit / gender neutral closed
21 - watched hank green stand up / about peeing out cancer / and doomed wingéd ants
22 - drag queen storytime / in the cool alamo lounge / then some mini golf
23 - corned beef for dinner / we have a decadent meal / with mashed potatoes
24 - planning week for work / but many are now delayed / thanks to canceled flights
25 - new tv channel / cartoons to view all the time / always saturday
26 - talk on cost savings / but time is also money / and meeting time drags
27 - coworker leaving / and others may go as well / a little panicked
28 - worked from home today / but didn't really do much / post-planning pre-work
29 - corny exhibit / and then later some corn ice cream / an a-maize-ing day
30 - more covid trouble / for my family back home / hope they get better
July
1 - american bills / so boring compared to world / no axolotls
2 - visit my dear friend / in hospital icu / still there are smiles
3 - signing up for math / to start in the fall online / where are my calc notes?
4 - fourth of july noise / fireworks and then thunderstorms / i am still awake
5 - a mouse poked its head / up by my bed to steal chips / did the storms bring you?
6 - spent all day driving / yearly alone time starts now / with a cracked windshield
7 - forgot my glasses / getting groceries seasick / won't do that again
8 - the crack has spread / across the entirety / of my poor windshield
9 - in-law lightning strike / terrifies my kiddo and / cuts off internet
10 - guitar via zoom / while car awaits repair day / mic volume too low
11 - today i miss them / the quiet is sometimes more / than one had wanted
12 - windshield is replaced / lifted mood with chuck tingle / and monster profiles
13 - depression growing / now playstation disk drive broke / i am but jelly
14 - hospital visit / then electronics shopping / i shouldn't buy things
15 - transcript processing / complete; can i enroll now / for fall math classes?
16 - the rains pommel down / and the D are in crisis / what a downer day
17 - melancholic day / so binge-watching anime / eating all alone
18 - a buttoned-down mind gone / comedy album heroes / vanish with each year
19 - received empty box / to fill up and then ship back / good luck ps5
20 - strangely nice weather / so i go to the muny / nice pokémon hat
21 - a trip to the zoo / taking photos with glasses / is a new challenge
22 - what is there to say / i walked to work, did work, / and then i walked home
23 - mission from kiddo / buy exclusive edition / mystic book of bill
24 - still the mouse remains / i play my ps vita / while watching it run
25 - fanny pack wearing / wolverine drinks one more pint / no popcorn bucket
26 - going through my clothes / trying to clean up my room / failing like normal
27 - some legos shattered / but now my family's back / playstation's back too
28 - watch deadpool again / but now with my family / good time had by all
29 - we're back to the grind / stressful work, family back / need to last one week
30 - wish i could force dad / to not work at all; to rest / precarious health
31 - resurrect ipod / music after a long lull / a skip in my step
August
1 - with a crash it fell / kiddo dropped a balanced glass / its shards on the floor
2 - old ipod still works / loaded up with music but / modern software sucks
3 - mysterious stink / permeates the laundry load / unending horror
4 - back to school shopping / is difficult with no list / an attempt is made
5 - trip preparation / for our phone and banking ease / getting hyped to go
6 - registration done / now i can do maths this fall / very discretely
7 - today we travel / by bus, by train, by airplane / oh so much airplane
8 - welcome to munich / hugendubal lost four floors / time and change are cruel
9 - glypothek sculptures / and lego minifigures / study human form
10 - the tour bus guides us / to king ludwig's neuschwanstein / then munich traffic
11 - not axolotls / but close can be seen at zoo / oppressive heat wave
12 - deutsches museum / has lots to offer except / nowhere has safe food
13 - heat wave continues / and there is no cool escape / und so wir kochen
14 - long flight day again / but this time all in reverse / i want to sleep soon
15 - dental appointment / for kiddo goes very smooth / a little jealous
16 - upstairs bathroom sink / does not want to give water / time for more plumbing
17 - happily cheer on / the kirin dragon boat team / this hot sunny day
18 - new music player / spending day on library / fixing music tags
19 - we wake up early / why is kid's school so early / time does not compute
20 - the faucet is fixed / we have all the pressure now / but in a good way
21 - start back with guitar / argentinian music / with catchy rhythm
22 - fixed a bug at work / then went to the baseball game / with my work colleagues
23 - half a muny trip / anything goes had to pause / medical issue
24 - the fest of nations / oh so many food choices / and such a hot day
25 - trader joe's bread / the new recipe has milk / i had a close call
26 - it's brutally hot / overwhelmingly sleepy / can't weekend extend?
27 - comedy albums / as i drift off to slumber / let me dream-chuckle
28 - desk moving at work / now a hero's journey from / the rest of my team
29 - the oppressive heat / renders me a puddle and / a broken record
30 - hundreds of beavers / conjure up the loudest laughs / can't hear the movie
31 - haircut for kiddo / had to handhold the stylist / through the lulu bob
September
1 - grocery shopping / no matter which store we shop / costs more than i want
2 - the japanese fest / calligraphy and sumo / both entertaining
3 - smoke alarms replaced / package delivered open / and more math homework
4 - high anxiety / i feel very stressed out / because lights flickered
5 - webhost has been changed / and it went without a hitch / i have trust issues
6 - mister bubbles gift / and beetlejuice squared showing / for my beau's birthday
7 - discrete math homework / interspersed with playstation / train simulator
8 - second birthday day / trampolines and playground time / but no phone as gift
9 - practice proof writing / requires nuance, detail, / and being awake
10 - two weekends of ma'am / impact of which is lessened / by your use of he
11 - reading clever proofs / beautiful, as finn would say / "mathematical!"
12 - forgot my glasses / so worked through a hangover / i'm so very tired
13 - i listen to films / working in vacant office / i can laugh aloud
14 - hear the theorbo / a lute taller than i am / and with far more bass
15 - at poetry read / beau gets complaint poems from me / metrical bitching
16 - dragging myself up / i don't want to go to work / stupid adulting
17 - kid is into bees / i naturally mean beads / egg is into beads
18 - work's a hamster wheel / the rodent enjoys the turn / alas i do not
19 - forest park concert / was hard to catch, not unlike / ohtani's record
20 - a sibling visit / with food and comedy stream / and a power surge
21 - baseball game attempt / thwarted due to the loudness / seats under speakers
22 - grocery shopping / but it's just me and the kid / while beau cries at show
23 - work planning again / but without most of the team / what are we doing?
24 - so very tired / i nap while they eat dinner / dreaming of days off
25 - most productive time / in the long business meeting / bought weird al tickets
26 - meeting week now ends / a colleague's memorial / puts death on my mind
27 - halfway through my class / one half of one tenth finished / bring on the future
28 - kid spends night at friend's / so vegan food, gay pride fest, / megalopolis
29 - swimming at the y / but i'm a horrible frood / where is my towel?
30 - got library card / for audiobook access / no one to talk to
October
1 - it's "just politics" / and yet that's not really true / can i live my life?
2 - as the day goes on / it calls for more attention / the pain in my throat
3 - didn't go to work / throat is clawed, and ears are full / but it's not covid
4 - thought i'd work from home / hello fever, my old friend / took off work again
5 - last night stage advanced / are you there god? it's kiddo / she skips when i cried
6 - woke up with hell pain / went to urgent care and got tested / swab says it's strep throat
7 - a jello diet / for the soup salt burns my throat / give me cold relief
8 - approaching normal / talking and yawning are both / absolute torture
9 - working from home still / but i finally emerge / for guitar lesson
10 - now back in office / making my throat hurt again / but now with talking
11 - at work storms brewing / a manager hurricane / casualties pending
12 - a day of shopping / beads books and food but i keep / feeling exhausted
13 - day mostly alone / video games and music / plus my math homework
14 - a day off from work / but the food options are closed / always on mondays
15 - turtle sculpture passed / library card upgraded / so i can print now
16 - after a ten climb / reached second from bottom rung / corporate ladder
17 - finish the last test / and so practically end / the first of ten steps
18 - will you celebrate / is the unceasing question / so we eat pho now
19 - saw japanese silks / and trees red like kiddo's hair / an artful outing
20 - when was the last time / i swallowed a whole book down / in a single day
21 - trying to review / all my calculus one notes / sequel after years
22 - heater was clogged up / so paid for a technician / almost every year
23 - printer not working / guitar lesson music thus / read off a phone screen
24 - finished all the things / first class out of ten now done / enjoyed discrete math
25 - halloween party / for all employee kiddos / kid shy and tepid
26 - kiddo turned me down / when i offered library / so i went alone
27 - woken with a start / dream dissolves to near-vomit / bad acid reflux
28 - u-substitution / but i'm not replacing you / silly mister x
29 - a few things left out / in my first calculus class / extra review now
30 - japanese reading / is a slow halting process / i hope to improve
31 - a goodwill costume / kid's an obscure character / but still gets candy
November
1 - empty work friday / so i sit with my old team / conversation day
2 - we watch godzilla / but theater distracted / my sniffling partner
3 - i venture alone / kiddo doesn't feel like it / grocery shopping
4 - study site i use / refuses to load at all / a wasted lunch break
5 - umbrella in hand / i vote in record rainfall / afternoon rainbow
6 - feel at 4 a.m. / despair for democracy / cartoon ostriches
7 - some line has been crossed / i'm twice asked "aren't your toes cold" / colder weeks ago
8 - surprise street paving / and the heater has gone out / very stressful day
9 - after heater fixed / shed tears for the wild robot / and for the snack bill
10 - visit my parents / saw ladder hang out window / of passenger car
11 - helping my kiddo / brings dysphoria en masse / with sports bra shopping
12 - frustrating work day / trapped in knit picking meeting / i just want to work